Ah, friends. You see me in pictures, cutting up with friends, having a good time, and you think “Angie would be a great person to throw one of my jewelry/candle/clothing/purse/organic house cleaners/vitamins/______ (insert stuff you’re selling here) parties!”
And you ask me……………. and I respectfully decline.
Which is an improvement. Because what I used to do was say “Sure!” Then dodge you for the rest of your existence.
I just want to tell you….
It’s not you, it’s me!
Because I’m not. I’m not a great person to throw one of those parties. In fact, I rarely throw parties. Parties have never been my thing, especially if they’re at my house. Because:
1. It triggers the rarely seen, though ever present, “shy” in me.
2. I cannot relax because this is my party, and I want to be sure everyone’s happy.
3. I have to clean BEFORE AND AFTER? W..TF?
Now, I’m the first to admit I love a party; I bring the party; I am a party. But that is decidedly different. I can blend if I want to, the success of the party does not depend on me, and I don’t have to clean.
Also, I don’t love sales. Sales make me tense. As in, “why am I grinding my teeth? Ohhhh. Sales.” I’m actually very good at sales, but it happens completely by accident. Pitching is like finger nails on the chalkboard to me. If I’m anywhere near a pitch, I have to force myself not to run screaming. Don’t get me wrong. It has to be done, and some people are gifted at it. Just, no, gracias para mi. (That’s Spanglish for “No thank you, that’s not my thing.”)
And yes, I love shopping. But sales and shopping don’t mix. I like as little sales in my shopping as possible. When I’m shopping, I purposefully dodge sales people. If they inch closer, I pretend to be on my mobile phone. “Hello? Oh hey you! I’m so glad you called. Whatcha’ up to? Oh ya. Me? Nothing. Just out here shopping. You know, enjoying a moment of peace.” HINT HINT. Also, I love shopping because I love the hunt. Bringing items to me is like throwing a cooked steak to a tiger.
But that’s not to say that you’ll never see me host one of those parties. Some stuff I really like. If you’re selling sex toys, something that makes me look moderately adept at working in my kitchen, or wine….I’m you’re girl! Call me.