When I was a kid, there was this Sunday morning cartoon in the newspaper. It featured cherubic looking children doing kid stuff with parents standing by. I didn’t find it very funny. It frequently featured little maps of the childrens’ adventures, misadventures, etc., illustrating their path with dashed lines.
I know now that it was adult humor…PARENT humor.
As a parent, I now frequently think of that cartoon and think of how funny it would be if a dashed line mapped the typical day of this household.
Funny to other people..or funny in retrospect.
Today, I cleaned, all day, in anticipation of the first day of school. I started with my son’s room. In the midst of cleaning out his back pack and putting items away in the craft center, I ended up cleaning and reorganizing said craft center. When I was done, I realized the backpack was sitting half cleaned on the kitchen counter. I finished cleaning it. I cleaned the front room. I vacuumed my son’s room. I walked back through the front room and found my daughter’s shoes in the middle of the floor. I walked them to her room, which was a disaster. On my way there, I noted the hall was a mess. I cleaned the hall. I vacuumed the hall. I moved to the family room. I folded all the blankets the kids had pulled out. I picked up some of the kids’ dirty clothes and walked it to the room. The hall is a mess again, WHAT?
We have…a poltergeist.
I clean the hall, again, whilst griping that I don’t understand how it’s dirty because I JUST cleaned it. Side note: everytime I walk through the hall, I look in the kids’ bathroom and call out, “I need this bathroom cleaned please.” I’m pretty sure the kids are in their rooms, thinking, “well then gets ta’ cleaning woman.”
At the end of the night, having cleaned and mopped in infinite circles, I walked into my son’s room, where it all began, and there were Legos everywhere.
Essentially what I’m trying to say, but may not be communicating because I’ve lost my damn mind by this point is, the kids walked around behind me destroying rooms I had clean all day.
After tucking in my soon to his now Lego booby trapped room, I plopped on to the couch exhausted and said, “Can you tell me why I handed myself my ass today?”
To which he responded, “I was wondering the same thing.”
Well, at least the house is 80% perfect in anticipation of starting this school year off on the right foot. Here’s hopin’.