Shit that ain’t right about back-to-school (BTS) shopping.
1. Jacked up supply lists. Wanna’ know how teachers get their jollies? These jacked up lists. Every single year there’s at least one item that I swear they pull out of their arse for kicks and laughs. I’m pretty sure the idea is “If I have to come back early to prep my room, I at least want to console myself knowing my parents are out there going nuts for the poly bradded red/purple/yellow/green pocket folder or elementary writing journal or whatever bullshit I can dream up. (I have MANY friends who are teachers…don’t even try to lie! You’re good people, don’t get me wrong. You’re just good people with wicked senses of humor.)
2. Wal-mart, Target, etc. never know what the dreamed up item will be. They’re always one year behind. Two years ago it was the elementary writing journal. Last year they had plenty of those. Last year the dreamed up item was the PURPLE poly bradded pocket folder. This year those folders were everywhere. This year you can’t find a YELLOW poly bradded pocket folder. Next year there’ll be shit tons of them.
3. Tax free weekend is one week before school starts… For the love of god WHY?! Your choices are to either buy everything full price weeks in advance and actually have a fighting chance of finding everything on the list (if the store has stocked everything already) or sharpen your knives and hit the stores on tax free weekend when the prices are slashed and the tax is nil (when half the stock is already gone).
4. I can’t remember the last time I found all of our supplies in one store! Please, somebody get on this. Zappos, here’s your chance to be a break out star at the BTS game!
5. When I was a kid, we could have the Dukes of Hazard spiral notebook, folder, etc. That’s a thing of the past. Now kids are permitted red, blue, yellow, and green. So, Walmart, Target, etc. Why do you stock your shelves with Angry Birds themed school supplies?! You know my kids can’t have them, which leads to tears, which leads to frustration, which leads to me cursing you. You know what you could stock instead? YELLOW POLY BRADDED POCKET FOLDERS.
6. Teachers… 12 unsharpened pencils and 12 sharpened? Oh, you just think you’re so funny. You know I just got back from 20 different stores looking for your dreamed up item o’ the year, now you want me to sharpen a dozen pencils?
7. Other shoppers with no sense. There’s 40 of us in a space the size of a four square box. Perhaps you could leave your cart somewhere out of the way? Also, yes, I got the last red poly bradded pocket folder. Stop giving me the evil eye. It’s not going to change anything. Head over to Office Depot like all the other desperadoes. I’ll follow you…I still need the same thing in yellow.
8. Dry erase marker demands are catching you off guard? This is like Subway running out of bread. It’s a no brainier. All there is is white boards now!!!
There you have it.
I’d think of more, but I’m exhausted from my BTS scavenger hunt.