Well, okay, let’s be affirmative…PROGRESS. (I’m writing this as I watch my new addiction, Oprah’s Life Class, so I should be a good student and own my successes.)
Last week I officially lost more than 10% of my body weight since beginning this journey. My Weight Watchers iPhone app gave me a star for my collection. These stars! Such a little thing, but so coveted. Each time I earn one, I feel all proud… like a kid who just poo-poo’d in the potty. Truthfully, the stars are the unconditional affirmation of my hard work. So I love them.
I weigh 199. I guess that’s two successes. First, I finally cracked the 205 barrier. I could be back there in a heart beat, but I’m 199 now. Second, I haven’t been under 200 lbs. since I was pregnant with my daughter. That would be 2001. I’m at a weight I haven’t been at in ten years. Let me tell you what I know, what I’ve learned thus far, about weight loss. Actually, let’s go through the progression:
1. Blogging is weight loss magic.
2. Scratch that, blogging is not weight loss magic.
3. Diet and exercise are weight loss magic (The physically exhausting type of magic… as in you’re under water, wrapped in chains and locks, and right when you’re about to drown you finally Houdini out and swim up for a breath. Not the “watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat” type of magic. That’s too easy.)
4. Scratch that. Diet, exercise, and cognition generate weight loss. There is no magic.
It’s a tooth and nail fight everyday. I actually find that the diet and exercise piece are easy compared to cognitive process I have to work every single day. I have to question every habit, every “hunger” pain, to ensure they’re genuine. When I hit 199, I wanted to celebrate. How do we celebrate? Food! Traditionally anyway. I made myself wait three days, then I scarfed some ribs. They were yummy and worth the wait. Ya me! See you can eat ribs. You can eat ribs to celebrate. But you have to do it on your terms. Not as a habit.
I realized this week that I no longer comfort eat. Or at least comfort eat the wrong foods. I don’t think “Bad day, I’m stopping at McDonald’s.” Their perfectly calibrated Coke no longer has any power over me. That’s the good news. The bad news is, when I’m having a bad day, I haven’t yet found a suitable substitute for the “happy meal.” Whiiiiiich is how I ended up with purple hair on Friday. I had a bad day. I went to Walgreens to get some medication. While I was there I picked up some hair product I needed. The hair product was across the aisle from the hair dye. Pretty hair dye. I love red hair. It’s on sale. SIGN FROM GOD. Fifteen minutes later…I have purple hair with blond streaks. I swear to you…no where on that box did it say “PURPLE.” It said 5BR. That’s #5 BROWN RED. Not so much. Also, no where on that box did it say, “if you have long hair, you’re going to need some help.” Nope. Twenty-four hours later my amazing hair stylist achieved what the box of hair dye did not…BROWN RED. I’ve replaced my impulse for a $5 happy meal with the impulse to ______(fill in the blank…the possibilities are endless). But when you know better you do better.
More on that. More on, “when you know better you do better,” and Oprah’s Life Class. If you’re not watching this, you’re missing out. MISSING OUT. I’m in love with the show. I’m in love with the Website. On today’s show, they re-aired the Oprah episode wherein Oprah and Maya Angelou chilled in bed talking in their jammies. Just talking about life. That absolutely would be a dream come true for me. When I imagine meeting someone like say, John Cusack…or Robert Smith, I imagine being calm. I love their body of work, their brilliance. They’re human. Hello, fellow human.
When I imagine meeting Maya Angelou, I imagine crying hysterically (I’ve seen her speak twice and cried like a baby both times. In fact the first time, Maya had a box of tissues on stage with her, and I could be wrong, but I swear that woman looked at me at one point like, “I really wish I could give that poor girl one of my tissues.” The second time, I started crying the moment she entered. She had not even begun to speak. Her energy just affects me.) Anyways, after I cry hysterically, or because I cry hysterically, I pass out cold and wake up in the hospital. That’s how I imagine my meeting with Maya Angelou.
Lucky, lucky, Oprah. Seriously, check out Life Class. You won’t regret it.